What to Expect in Your First Coaching Session

If you’re thinking about coaching, the chances are you’ve got questions. What actually happens in the first session? Do you have to bare your soul straight away? Is it a bit like therapy… or something totally different?

I get it. When I first came to coaching myself, I had all those questions too. So let me demystify things a bit, and hopefully reassure you that your first session isn’t about doing it “right” — it’s about creating a safe, supportive space that’s completely yours.

Before the First Session: A Discovery Call

Before we sit down for that first official session, we’ll already have spoken in a free discovery (or chemistry) call. That’s where you tell me what’s brought you here and what you’re hoping for, and I’ll explain how I work.

The real purpose of that call is simple: do we feel like a good fit? Because coaching only really works if you feel comfortable with your coach — that they’re listening, not judging, and someone you can build trust with.

As a neurodivergent person myself, who has often felt certain spaces are not ‘for me’, I pride myself on being particularly tuned in to the adjustments that we can make to ensure the coaching space is as safe as possible for you - whether you are neurodivergent or not. Designing the way we talk makes the coaching space feel more intentional, more human, and more yours.

The First Session: Setting the Scene

Every first session is different (because every person is different). But here are the three main things you can expect:

1. Contracting

This is a fancy word for “designing how we’ll work together.” We’ll go through essentials like confidentiality, what coaching is (and isn’t), and how you’d like me to show up for you.

For example, some clients say: “Challenge me — pull me up if I’m contradicting myself.” Others prefer a gentler approach. Some love to use humour, even when talking about something painful, while others like to keep things straightforward.

Talking about this upfront might feel unusual, but honestly, it’s one of my favourite parts. It means the space is truly yours — you know you can laugh, cry, redirect me, or say “nope, I don’t want to go there today.”

For example: for many people, humour, smiling, or even making light of something painful can be a natural coping strategy. I resonate with that myself. In the past, I’ve had therapists say: “You’re smiling while you tell me something really sad” – and it felt jarring.

That’s why in coaching, I ask permission first. For example, if you laugh while describing something heavy, I might gently say: “I noticed you smiled just then — is there something underneath that?” Because we’ve agreed how to handle that ahead of time, it doesn’t feel intrusive. It feels collaborative.

The Vulnerability of Being “Noticed”

Another thing I’m mindful of — especially with neurodivergent clients — is that being noticed can feel exposing. Many of us grew up having our behaviour picked apart or criticised for being “different.” So when a coach says, “You always do X when you talk about Y,” that can land in a painful way if we haven’t set the ground rules first.

By talking about this upfront, we create choice. You get to decide whether you want me to notice those things in the moment, or whether you’d prefer me to leave them be.

2. Setting Goals

We’ll talk about what you’d like to achieve from the coaching overall – for example, this could be gaining more confidence in public speaking, getting clarity about your next career step, or simply having the space to think differently.

Then we’ll zoom into the focus for that day’s session. Sometimes, that’s a burning issue you bring in (“What do I do about this tricky email from my boss?”), and sometimes it’s a bigger picture exercise like the life wheel, which maps out the different areas of your life and how satisfied you feel in each.

3. The Coaching Itself

Coaching doesn’t take weeks to “warm up” — shifts often happen right from the start. In our first conversation, you might:

• Explore a specific situation (like a work challenge or a tricky relationship).

• Try a reflective exercise, such as the life wheel, which gives a big-picture view of how satisfied you feel in different areas of life.

• Begin uncovering new perspectives or possibilities you hadn’t considered before.

Here’s the bit people often find surprising: coaching usually starts working right away. Clients often notice real shifts in their perspective within the first couple of sessions.

That’s not about me waving a magic wand – it’s because by the time you get here, you’re already ready for change. Just the act of showing up and having someone listen deeply, without judgement, can open doors you didn’t know were there.

Closing the Session

We’ll always round off by talking about what the session has meant for you and what action you’ll be taking. Talking things through in coaching is so useful, but it’s the actions that follow that bring about the change! 

‘Homework’ 

We’ll always talk about what actions you’re going to take as a result of coaching. I will ask you what action you will take, and how you’ll know it’s been a success. Sometimes I’ll also suggest exercises that can be done between sessions to move things along. 

Anything either of us suggests is always optional - I’m not in the business of telling people off if they don’t do their homework. Indeed, if you haven’t done it, that’s just as interesting to me as if you have. 

• Was it resistance? 

• Was it the wrong action, and have you decided on a better one? 

• Do we need to work on what makes the action possible in the future, or choose different actions? 

Sometimes the real learning is in working out where the resistance lies, why it didn’t feel right, and how we can address that going forward. 

In a Nutshell

So if you like a framework, a first session usually looks like this:

1. Contracting (designing how we’ll work together)

2. Setting a goal for the block of coaching and for the session itself

3. Diving into conversation or exercises

4. Closing with reflections and next steps

But really, the heart of it is this: coaching gives you a rare kind of space. A place where you can explore transformative change, without judgement, and with the right balance of inspiration, challenge and compassion.

✨ Curious to see what it’s like? Book a free discovery call and let’s explore whether we’re a good fit.