I wrote recently about my diagnoses of autism and ADHD. I found this quite vulnerable, and it’s been a mixed bag as an experience. However, many of the traits I have learned I have are absolutely spot-on for coaching, so I wanted to say what these are.
This is partly because I am looking for more coaching clients to work with, and so saying why I am good at coaching seems like a good idea; and partly because I think neurodivergent traits can be really awesome and I have all the time in the world for hearing about ND superpowers.
(Disclaimer: the traits I write about here are elements of my personality and approach to things that have come up in my own ND diagnosis and been discussed in the context of my own neurology and life - I’m not saying they’re exclusive to me, or to ND people, or indeed making any comment at all about anyone else’s traits.)
I have listening skills that amount to a superpower.
The test that measures aural processing came out with a really high score for me. (This is also a trait that runs in my family, which I think is really cool.) This means that when someone tells me something or I take something in from a podcast or other audio source, it gets meticulously filed.
For anyone who’s worked with me - this is why sometimes you’ll say something and I’ll say, hey, that reminds me of something you said in a session [1/3/6 months ago] and then we talk about it in the context of that. No notes can remind back that quickly.
I love it when this happens! I also love that the nature of the coaching training I’ve done focuses on deep listening and honing the coaching skill of picking up on the feeling and importance of what you are saying - it’s not about remembering every last detail, but about remembering what’s important. Which brings me on to…
I’m very emotionally attuned.
This one is a bit of a mixed bag for me. As part of my diagnosis, I learned that I spent my childhood gathering data about how to be around people and learning social rules. I am very sensitive to people’s moods, and to what it seems is expected of me in certain situations. This has a…mixed…impact on my life in general…but, for coaching it is really good, as I’m able to take in the emotional side of what you are saying to me as well as the words I’m being presented with. This often leads to being able to identify what the crux of the matter is - for instance, when something presents as a practical problem, sometimes it is more about how you feel about it.
I know that ‘shoulds’ don’t work, and can help find solutions that work with your personality
Here’s an example of what I mean: I strive for consistency in my work, and I feel that to have a successful blog and marketing strategy for my business, I need to post consistently. However, my ADHD traits have never and will never allow that to happen. Consistency is not available to me! This grates on my autistic side which adores a structure. I have had to find another way - for me, this is allowing what feels like inconsistency to be spontaneity and energy management, to allow ‘good enough’ rather than perfection, and to let go of the idea that I ‘should’ post once a week. Holding onto that ‘should’ ends up meaning I never post, whereas letting that go means I can do this sometimes!
We have to accept the reality of what we can and can’t do - and don’t want to do - otherwise we weigh ourselves down with our own expectations.
But, back to structure…
I DO love a structure, and in particular what I adore about coaching is how well-structured the coaching space is. As coach and client, we agree in detail what we are comfortable with, how we want to communicate with each other, and have openness to change direction if we’re not on the right track, or to dig deeper into something if we’re up for the challenge. The training I have done in how to manage these conversations is something I take into all aspects of my life now, and I just love working in a field where people are prepared to be detailed, thoughtful and sensitive about how we communicate together.
So, there we have it - four reasons why my neurodivergence makes me a great coach. My ADHD brain has just thought of three more… I’ll save those for another time!
If this resonates with you, and you want to explore working together, please do get in touch for a no-obligation discovery call.
And, I really want to hear more about people’s superpowers. It’s completely awesome to hear you talking about what you know you’re amazing at. What are your superpowers? Please share in the comments!
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