Have you been feeling blocked about posting on social media, writing your blog or newsletter? Or communicating with your audience in general?
It’s something I’ve talked about with almost every client I’ve ever worked with -
‘Should I post this?’
‘What will people think?’
‘I don’t want to come across as ….’
I work with clients on identifying core values and articulating their uniqueness, in a way that feels comfortable for them, and (hopefully) has meaningful benefit for their work.
But, I’ve struggled with this, too. I wrote posts, but they sounded sanctimonious or self-aggrandising, or took the whole sea/sky/horizon metaphor way too far.
A digression - honestly, I love that metaphor - it’s so easy to use - the number of times I’ve been out by the sea and taken a photo and thought, ‘This sky/sea really reflects my mood today, I’ll be able to do a great LinkedIn post about that,’ but then got to writing it and felt it sounded pretentious and just serves to demonstrate how I have this amazing chilled and balanced lifestyle by the sea - when in fact that is far from how I feel!
Here's a picture of the sea crashing over a pier which is a great metaphor for how my attempts to write posts have felt this year...
OK, enough sea metaphor. So, I revisited a range of advice about how to find your voice, and in doing so I decided my identity struggle ran deeper, and I wanted to share this journey as I think it will resonate with many.
I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD earlier this year.
I’ve also not written anything for quite a while.
Recently, it’s like something’s shifted for me and I’ve found some things to say. This feels obvious now I say it, but I think I had a LOT of processing to do.
Being diagnosed with neurodivergences means a lot of things. It’s not the same for everyone, of course, but this is my take.
I’m a 38 year old woman with a long history of people-pleasing and over-working, believing my value is based on how much I do for others.
I am sensitive and deep-feeling, and take the needs of others extremely seriously. I am not used to honouring my feelings and experiences of the world, but I am getting used to it as of recently, which is wild!
I have always felt ‘different’ - like other people are playing by different rules. I hear this ALL the time in the experiences of neurodivergent people, but there is no better way of articulating this!
I have sensitive hearing and am extremely good at taking in information that I receive through hearing it (and I have a career in both music and coaching, a deep listening practice).
I have a busy and fast-moving brain, and I can see big pictures instantly and am highly adept at dealing with structure, organisation and strategy (and I run two businesses and have consulted on many more).
Being diagnosed included having these traits understood and explained in the context of my neurology, my skills, preferences, and experiences I’ve found challenging. I’m extremely lucky to have had access to such an affirming diagnosis process - I know this isn’t an experience everyone has.
Over the past few months, I’ve been taking the information I received from the diagnosis, and experiencing how it shows up in my life. I’ve found it largely positive, but/and it is so full on. The thing is, I sought the diagnosis because I reached autistic burnout, and I have had to ‘unmask’ and change the way I do almost everything. I’ve always been a high achiever and made a huge amount of effort in everything I do, and I’ve had to prioritise rest and letting go of the many expectations I hold for myself. This has gone against all my previous habits, and sometimes it feels like a step too far - sometimes unmasking just feels too hard, like all my previous structures have been removed and I’m left wafting around, trying to work out what to do next.
Why am I telling you all this?
Well, during this recent time of processing and re-evaluating how I exist in the world, it’s been hard for me to access my ‘voice’ for blogging or social media. I’ve felt inauthentic and unclear about what I want to be saying.
So, I’m here, outing myself as a member of the neurodivergent community and the disabled community (and I’ve been welcomed here by some phenomenal people!) also outing myself as a person who loves to overextend metaphors relating to big seas and skies and personal development, and in doing so, revealing a voice which is, I hope, closer to the one you get when you know me.
I’m hoping this provokes more frequent writing from me, because I think it’s essential to share your personality through work, and also because I’m keen to do more coaching.I think letting people know what I’m like is going to help me and my ideal clients find each other. (It will also give me more opportunities to share pictures of the sea and the sky andI’m also considering branching out into cat photos, as they are a huge source of joy for me).
If this resonates with you (any of it, not just the cat photo thing!) and you feel ready to explore working together, please do get in touch for a no-obligation discovery call. You can book in here or check out my services and email for more information here.
It would be great to connect on LinkedIn, Instagram or Facebook. I’d love to hear your experiences of finding your voice - what made it click for you?
Or, cat pictures please!
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